Bob's Blog #3 - Mom Lied... The Truth Behind Coffee's Health Benefits

Bob's Blog #3 - Mom Lied... The Truth Behind Coffee's Health Benefits

I recall that back in my days of excessive MTV and acnemy mom told me, and I quote “No! You are too young to have a cup of coffee, it will stunt your growthnow quit asking. Through consistent badgering I ended up with a cup 98% full of cream and sugar with a dash of coffee added just to shut me up.  So, here is the scrape. Mom lied. Coffee does NOT stunt your growth. I feel so betrayed. It may affect how a body absorbs calcium minimally, but growth is dependent on genes and if your eating crap or not. I will however say that the gifted cup of cream and sugar with a dash of coffee will most likely lead to unhealthy weight gain and cavities.  Thanks mom. 

So, I thought I would give you the honest skinny on some of the actual health benefits of coffee in moderation. Yes, I said moderation. Too much of anything good just is not. Here is Bobs short/short list of coffee benefits. 

  1. Wide Awake - Coffee contains caffeine which is a stimulant. Duh!  This is what helps us get through that lecture or meeting held by someone who sounds like the dry eyes guy on T.V., without that boost its zzzzzz all day long. 
  2. Pump You Up - with all the hype in the news as of late on performance enhancing drugs utilized by those millionaires in numbered uniforms we love to watch, this is the info they could have used. A single cup of joe before a workout can improve your abilities by at least 10%. No needle needed. 
  3. Have a Heart - Coffee has been discovered as a preventative for heart disease. Researchers in Korea say that just 4 cups a day can lower your risk. Europe argues dietary differences were not brought into account but says that their personal study showing 3-4 cups a day lowers the risk of heart disease is correct. Um ok, so it lowers your risk. Got it. 
  4. It is Totally Mental - Not only does the caffeine boost increase one’s focus and mental acuity, your short-term memory gets some love by helping protect against cognitive decline. This is truly advantageous in the long term with Alzheimer’s. Research has also shown that when women drink 4 or more cups per day (4 must be the scientific introductory stage of coffee consumption?) coffee reduces the risk of developing depression and a person in general throughout their life is less likely to become suicidal. Unless, that is of course, you happen to run out of coffee. No guarantees there. 
  5. The Hard to Kidnap - The curvy among us, although as I tell my wife, truly sexy, struggle with a slower metabolic rate (read hard to lose weight). Coffee increases metabolic rate. Dr. Hu (Hu you know I’m sure! Sorry I could not resist.) says that along with that boost in weight loss, coffee can aide in a lowering of your risk for diabetes. It helps to process glucose more efficiently. 
  6. Domino Effect - Coffee has antioxidants which should be part of everybody’s dietary regime. They do a plethora of positive things from reducing disease by clearing out those toxins and free radicals (sounds like staging a coo) from your system, to even keeping those hard-working liver enzymes in a healthy range. Keeping those in at acceptable levels aids in reduction of internal inflammation and prevention of stroke. 
  7. Double Helix - Dark roast coffee slows the drop in DNA breakage. This breakage happens normally but if not repaired by your cells can lead to tumors or cancer. 
  8. Leave it to the Swiss - The scientific brain box in Sweden has discovered that coffee when consumed daily (is there any other way?) offers a dramatic reduction in the chance of getting Parkinson’s. Even if your DNA prone. 
  9. Immortality - A study I recently read, over a steaming hot French press of my favorite TPDCC coffee, stated that coffee can help you live longer. Now, there are haters in the science world, just as in any industry, that say social and economic factors were not added into this specific study so therefore it is not valid. Seriously?

Just the list above shows that it can help with longevity. Gotta love the haters, they make those of us with common sense look so cool. 

Well, there you have it. My short/short list of what I thought might make up a little bit for the horrible lies many of us were told as kids. You’re forgiven mom.  

May your life be as rich as the coffee you drink, 

Bob “Coffee” Branson 


1 comment


  • Kenny Davis

    Wow! This seriously had me laughing out loud, funny ad-libs along the way. Very entertaining and informative. I like how digestible the information is. Keep it up! My parents told me the same thing about caffeine. The reality is that I would have been bouncing off the walls!!! I had a lot of energy as a kid, and even now. Enjoy the rest of your week Bob!


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